Happiness and Vodka

Happiness. It is 1:50 AM, and this post is a repercussion of 4 shots of vodka and some amazingly blended sutta aka cigarettes. The term happiness is as elusive as the beautiful girl I don’t let my eyes off during the Lsquare parties in my college. For long, I have held a linear view on happiness. I always thought of it as a function of some definite variables in life, which when attains an optimum value will finally help me break or reach the happiness threshold. But every time I try to reach this threshold of happiness some new unknown variables get added to the function and put me off limit. After-all, what can a B school student aspire for in life? Fame, Grade, Good Placements, Love. Oh wait, did I mention love? Why does it have to appear in anything and everything in life? I don’t know. Even when I try not to, it keeps on appearing in every aspect of my life. For the other elements can be attained through your efforts but love is something that happens and is truly an unknown random variable over which we don’t have any influence over. After much of pondering I have realized that to attain a true level of happiness you need all elements in good proportion and to complete it you need a bare minimum value of the random variable called love. Surely, life still goes on without this variable. You still would get happiness. Just increase the importance of other variables in life. Mathematically speaking, this will not give an optimum solution. To put things in perspective, unless we have bare minimum quantity of everything in life we cannot arrive at true happiness. Our happiness value will always tend towards the optimum value but never really near it. Happiness will always remain elusive. The feeling then is different. You might have everything you've ever yearned for but still have a feeling of emptiness. But ain't this happiness function different for different individuals. It surely is. I have just put a perspective to my thoughts on this post. Whatever be the variables that define your happiness, identify them and strive towards increasing their values. Their lies the true happiness. I ain't any person who is seeking the eternal truth in this world. As our understanding on life and its true objective improves, we would need lesser variables to attain happiness and these variables would be very much under our control. I still have to begin that journey so I have to carry a burden of too many variables to keep. It surely is tough and so shall be shown in my efforts. I wish, hearts would have listened instead of head. 

Late Morning Surprises

I pulled the blanket over my legs that were left uncovered. For I could feel the chill in the air touching my feet. Somewhere I had left some part of the window in my room unclosed. Not a big room though, my college hostel room means a world to me. A-216 and F-204 will remain in my memories forever. No, no don’t doubt my modesty. I never intended to say someday I would sit back and reflect upon this room where all the so called dreams were hatched. Never, for I don’t know how life is going to unwind right next moment. Ok, let me come back to the present. Bangalore weather is getting sexier day by day. I, for one, never feel the urge to get up from my new Kurlon double mattress with extra spring bed, whatever the occasion is. I leave it up to my friends to wake me up for an exam or class. My midterm exams got over yesterday and I stay put lazily in my bed till 11:22 AM. When the realization dawned that the whole world is probably awake and busy with their chores, I should at least make good use of the time. As I woke up, still on my bed, I started thinking “Ab kya karna hain?”, which translated to English means, “What should I do now”. My mid terms were over; this is my last term. I was in the best management institution that one could ask for, had landed a job in big 4, what else? Somewhere, something was missing. I somehow felt an awning gap somewhere. The answer followed from a conversation that I had with a friend of mine yesterday. I need to un-clutter all bookish learning and go somewhere to live and experience it firsthand. No am not talking for another internship. I think I have a fair idea of where I want to go after my exams are over. I have good 3 months time before I join my new company. Tillonia, that’s where I want to spend time and other such places. I don’t know and I don’t have any agenda. I plan to visit parts of our country that doesn’t appear or any tourist map, see the people, speak with them, see their innovation and learn from them.  As of now all I know is this. Maybe 2 months down the line, I will check if this gap has been filled.

A small but genuine dedication !!

You held me speechless all along

From long back when you were gone

To days back when I was reborn

You’ve always stayed far but never apart

Meeting you again in life was a thought apart

Life had its ways and our paths once met

That moment still holds me in astonishment

From that day to this moment all new

These are the words I have plucked for you

You blew me off the first day

And your eyes lit my life everyday

Your smile made my worries vanish

I always recollect them when my happiness famish

To this day and this very moment

I can only craft these statements

There are words yet to be said

I’ll wait for that while with all due respect

I just hope that am continued to be held speechless

My words will be there for you nonetheless…..