Why am I so dumb .....

The phone buzzed "18 till I die....." Tired of snoozing the alarm again and again I switched it off and dozed off not realising that it was almost 8 in the morning . Bang ..was what I heard next . Amidst the culinary chaos in the morning someone had dropped a large aluminium vessel . The noisy dim atlast broke my sleep . Totally unaware of the fact that my office timing was almost up , I got hooked on to the newspaper. "CAT results to be out today ...." . "Uff not again ..." I just analysed , how my paper went on that horrible day, in my mind . "Don't u need to go to office today , it's getting late and by the way you would be getting ur results today , isn't it ?" my dad asked . I sort of told to myself , " If I dont make it this time then my future's doomed " . I got ready for office in time and left for the day .The time of the day arrived . It was 1500 hrs . My heart beat almost stopped for a few minutes. I quickely grabbed my cell and keyed in my registration number. 97.5 it blinked ........I said to myself " Fucking score... am screwed .... " A moment later my phone rang and then on a fusillade of questions , consolations and keep up the fight words pounded upon me as if am witnessings a rain of piercing words. I was really tired fielding questions from everyone and congratulating my friends on their stupendous performances .

That night I had a real analysis of myself . In the course of introspection I said to myself " Why am I so dumb.....Couldnt crack CAT again ...." I knew had I added 15+2 = 17 and had drwan the inverted tree properly I would have made it but all I could do then was 15+2 =16 and draw wrong branches on the inverted tree ..........Silly me .

Life is really sucking now a days for me . Why am I being screwed so badly . Have I lost some of my grey matter and are my synaptic intertwinings getting unwinded ?? I couldnt answer any of these . The only thing I knew was am not going to give up. Thats the only thing left in me my self confidence .Beaten but not yet lost ...........The game is still not over ..

A great personality , Paulo Coelho , if am not mistaken this time , has said something for not so great person like me , " When you really want something all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it "..